Hi - I met Jared when he lived in China, around 2006. He was a super nice guy, as you know having grown up with him.
I heard from him a few times over the years; the last time he contacted me in 2022, and had asked for some help doing research; he sounded a little angry and slightly unhinged, but I got a general sense he was doing well.
I had a dream about him last night so tried to contact him; then saw his 'memorial' on linkedin, and have spent the morning shocked, looking into what happened.
through all my confusion, one possible take is that he had started being treated for adhd at some point, though i'm not sure exactly when. those meds aren't good. i wonder what you know about when he started to be treated?
ADHD medication is completely safe and does not cause someone to do something like this. I’ve been on the same medication as him for the past thirteen years. Meanwhile he was sane enough to graduate with his Master’s degree from one of the top schools in the country while spending the rest of his free time terrorizing his wife.
Jared was diagnosed with a combination of Narcissistic and Obsessive Personality Disorders. He had an inability to feel empathy and only mimicked the behavior as he observed it in others. He also had an extremely sadistic streak hidden under the surface.
He was an absolute monster long before he killed Ellie. I’m working my way through this story chronologically but it is difficult to updates. His behavior is baffling to regular people but absolutely textbook abuser mentality.
The book “Why Does He Do That” by Lundy Bancroft was absolutely instrumental for both Ellie’s mother and myself in understanding Jared and understanding why she needed to get away from him. I highly recommend it for anyone struggling to understand how anyone could do what he did.
Thank you so much for continuing this blog, this website, whatever you want to call it. Your work on this is SO important. I joined Substack just to follow you, and I get random notifications on my phone of shit I don’t care about and never subscribed to, but what I’m always looking for is your notification. You and this publication have been on my mind lately, wondering if you were finished posting (which would be understandable). I was so pleased (feels like the totally wrong word considering the circumstance, but I hope you get what I mean) to see this notification, and to read “And as we’ll get to in the next post…”
I know this takes a huge toll. I want to thank you for doing it. Please take care of yourself before anything else, but I will always, always eagerly await whatever you have to say/share. People are out here reading, and listening. We will never, ever, ever forget about Ellie.
<3
Hi - I met Jared when he lived in China, around 2006. He was a super nice guy, as you know having grown up with him.
I heard from him a few times over the years; the last time he contacted me in 2022, and had asked for some help doing research; he sounded a little angry and slightly unhinged, but I got a general sense he was doing well.
I had a dream about him last night so tried to contact him; then saw his 'memorial' on linkedin, and have spent the morning shocked, looking into what happened.
through all my confusion, one possible take is that he had started being treated for adhd at some point, though i'm not sure exactly when. those meds aren't good. i wonder what you know about when he started to be treated?
I’ve wondered about the role those meds could have played as well he mentioned the same to me.
ADHD medication is completely safe and does not cause someone to do something like this. I’ve been on the same medication as him for the past thirteen years. Meanwhile he was sane enough to graduate with his Master’s degree from one of the top schools in the country while spending the rest of his free time terrorizing his wife.
Jared was diagnosed with a combination of Narcissistic and Obsessive Personality Disorders. He had an inability to feel empathy and only mimicked the behavior as he observed it in others. He also had an extremely sadistic streak hidden under the surface.
He was an absolute monster long before he killed Ellie. I’m working my way through this story chronologically but it is difficult to updates. His behavior is baffling to regular people but absolutely textbook abuser mentality.
The book “Why Does He Do That” by Lundy Bancroft was absolutely instrumental for both Ellie’s mother and myself in understanding Jared and understanding why she needed to get away from him. I highly recommend it for anyone struggling to understand how anyone could do what he did.
Thank you so much for continuing this blog, this website, whatever you want to call it. Your work on this is SO important. I joined Substack just to follow you, and I get random notifications on my phone of shit I don’t care about and never subscribed to, but what I’m always looking for is your notification. You and this publication have been on my mind lately, wondering if you were finished posting (which would be understandable). I was so pleased (feels like the totally wrong word considering the circumstance, but I hope you get what I mean) to see this notification, and to read “And as we’ll get to in the next post…”
I know this takes a huge toll. I want to thank you for doing it. Please take care of yourself before anything else, but I will always, always eagerly await whatever you have to say/share. People are out here reading, and listening. We will never, ever, ever forget about Ellie.